Godzilla

Japan’s most famous contribution to cinema has long been slated for the big, expensive Hollywood treatment. The last stab at it in 1998 was almost universally considered a failure, memorable only for its complete and thorough badness. Well, fans can rest easy knowing that this Godzilla treats the King of the Monsters with respect and utmost seriousness. The only question is, is that totally a good thing, particularly the latter?

For the most part, yes, it’s definitely good. The darker tone matches the sense of the unknown and dread of the very first picture from 60 years ago, if not its allegory (Godzilla was originally a metaphor for Hiroshima and Nagasaki). The special effects finally, finally measure up to the awe those feelings suggest (unlike back in ’98). And the film respects the mythology, incorporating it into the new plot while updating and rewriting it in creative, not destructive, ways.

The story begins with a nuclear power plant in Japan being destroyed by an earthquake. 15 years later, however, an American nuclear engineer (Bryan Cranston) whose wife (Juliette Binoche) was killed in the accident believes that something else destroyed the plant. After some illegal snooping at the site of the disaster with his son (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), a bomb technician in the U.S. Navy, he’s proven right: it wasn’t an earthquake, but an enormous ancient creature that feeds on radiation. And it’s not the only one. As these colossal predators make their way to the West Coast, a secret multinational agency looks to another prehistoric giant (you-know-who), one they secretly encountered six decades before, to aid in destroying them.

The big green guy is actually used sparingly for much of the picture, as his foes are the bringers of most of the property destruction. These are solid monstrosities, making up for what they lack in originality (they look a bit like the creature from Cloverfield) with some cool, innovative abilities and the far superior agility that CGI allows. But surprisingly, the lack of clear looks at the monsters is more effective as buildup. Scenes of just before the destruction and the aftermath create as much tension as towering shots of the monsters’ size as they knock down buildings. And the new Godzilla looks great (though complaints about him hitting the buffet do look a little warranted), but seems even more impressive because he’s revealed slowly, piece-by-piece. His tail, his feet, his full behemoth figure, his trademark roar, his atomic breath, making its way up from his tale on his spiky spinal plates like a bomb fuse. The movie masterfully plays with the viewer, and knows what people came to see.

Except in one department: the monster-on-monster battles. They’re there, but they’re relatively few. One incredible sequence culminates in finally seeing Godzilla in all his glory, spoiling for a fight, only to cut away. All we see are small glimpses of this encounter on fake news reports. The big climactic battle in San Francisco is better, with both feral beast-like combat and hand-to-hand brawling like the classic Toho monsters that were clearly guys in suits. But the monsters have to share the screen with the human characters and their military action flick subplots. No disrespect to the cast, but the actual people in a Godzilla movie should only be there for exposition, and not have their story overshadow the real stars of the picture. Last year’s Pacific Rim was a much lighter and goofier take on the genre, but it understood why people watch giant monster movies, and delivered the goods in its fight scenes. They were crazy and ridiculous, but who cares? They were tons of fun.

That’s about my only complaint, the fights, not that they’re bad but that there’s not more of them. In every other respect, this is probably the best Godzilla imaginable. I just hope that now that this film gets all the introductions out of the way, if there’s a sequel, it’ll have plenty of room for more, and bigger, monster matches.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Fans may recall that the last Spider-Man series didn’t end so well, with the final entry taking on so much that it collapsed under its own weight. The second entry in the Amazing Spider-Man saga likewise packs in a few too many things for its own good. The final result is still much more watchable than that aforementioned franchise killer, but it never quite coalesces into a solid whole. It’s more like pieces of several different narratives stitched together haphazardly.

This problem doesn’t stem from the film’s obvious priming for the upcoming Sinister Six movie, surprisingly. The stuff that’s clearly and directly setting up further entries in the franchise is limited to a few fleeting references and Easter Eggs, and one short sequence that plays much like a typical post-credits scene. Except it’s edited into the film proper, but in a way that doesn’t disrupt the flow of everything else. Or rather, what flow it does have, because it’s everything else that’s so inconsistent.

In the film, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) has taken pretty well to being Spider-Man. But not so much to being Peter Parker, as he’s afraid to love Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) because he doesn’t want to risk putting her in danger. Further complicating their relationship is that fact that she’s moving away for school. Peter’s also still looking into why his parents (Campbell Scott and Embeth Davidtz) abandoned him as a child. And on top of everything, two new figures come into the mix: engineer-turned-electric leviathan Electro (Jamie Foxx), and Peter’s friend and Oscorp heir Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan).

As the plot moves from thread to thread, the tone shifts quite jarringly. As Spider-Man, Garfield is having a ball, cockily taking down crooks and showing off like he’s actually enjoying being a superhero, instead of being so righteous and serious. But out of costume, with Stone, the mood turns sad as the two are distraught at their relationship not working. Then in their next scene together, their relationship will suddenly be going great, and the tone turns happy again. Then, when Peter’s alone and looking into his parents’ past, he becomes sullen and determined. None of these plot points segue from one to the other smoothly at all, and the tonal inconsistency is bothersome. The villains aren’t exactly worked in so seamlessly, either. Peter and Harry are apparently old friends, though the film introduces them as such without any explanation. True, anyone even slightly knowledgeable of the comics can surmise that going in, but it’s still a sloppy bit of plotting. And Electro only seems to be swept up in the action because they needed another villain, because he doesn't play much of a role except battling the title hero.

But, even though all these pieces don’t really gel, by themselves they are mostly well done. The only arc that truly doesn’t work is Foxx’s; the socially inept, obsessed fanboy act does little to establish any depth, and only manages a few easy laughs. But when he becomes Electro, it makes for some good fights and special effects. As for DeHaan, despite sporting the worst haircut ever to curse the head of a supervillain, he gives us a tortured, desperate, almost sympathetic Harry Osborn. His plunge into evil is much more plausible and compelling than the incarnation in the previous series.

The best part isn’t the superhero action or character mythology, however, but the romance between Garfield and Stone. The two have a powerful chemistry, sweet, funny, and real. Never once does it feel forced and obvious like the average blockbuster’s romantic subplot. And as for that giant plot turn fans knew would be coming sooner or later (spoilers here), the film caries it out with solemnity and respect. Maybe not with the epic grandeur you’d expect from such a major event in comic book history, but the emotion is there.

So, while it may not be the new series' Dark Knight moment, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 has plenty to enjoy. Except for...well, if you're a fan of Spider-Man, you know.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Even though superhero movies are at a historic high point in both quality and commercial viability, the genre appears to be falling into a rut. They remain solid entertainment, but they’ve settled into a rather assembly line format. The first entry always follows the same arc: introduce the hero and their powers, bring in a bad guy, and have the hero defeat them. For sequels, they bring in a new villain or two, possibly add a personal problem for the main character, and have them overcome both by the end. Every superhero picture across all studios and comic lines follows this pattern, with the only exceptions being those that are meant as lead-ins to other films (like Thor for The Avengers).

Fortunately, Marvel seems to have noticed, and acted. Last year’s Iron Man 3 brought some substance by having the title character suffer PTSD. It still fit snugly into the standard sequel mold, but the film had a bit more dramatic weight as a result. But Captain America: The Winter Soldier not only breaks out of those parameters, it knocks down the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe structure and changes things completely. This is the first superhero film in a while that’s actually engrossing, rather than just an adequately entertaining distraction.

The film catches up with Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), still working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and still getting reacquainted with the present after his seven-decade frozen slumber. But when Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) is killed and S.H.I.E.L.D. becomes compromised, Cap and Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) find themselves on the run from both the agency and a master assassin known only as The Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan).

That’s a rather lean synopsis, but saying any more would ruin the surprises, and there are a lot of them. What I will say is there’s a real sense of drama to the narrative and characters. All of them. Evans is as charismatic and righteous as ever, shining even brighter than before in such a dark and uncertain world. The new faces big and small are strong, and the villains effectively menacing. And the story finally has Johansson and (especially) Jackson play direct, meaningful parts, rather than relegate them to secondary characters or, in Jackson’s case, merely a thread to connect the franchise’s many entries. Fans of the comics who know what’s what will be pleased that the characters they love are utilized in equally strong roles, while those who’ve only seen the movies will get a yarn full of shocking and unexpected turns. Almost every plot development you expect in a comic book movie goes a different route, always for the better.

Winter Soldier is also the most politically astute blockbuster in years. A plot point involving S.H.I.E.L.D. gunships is clearly aimed at the United States’ drone policy. The main plot of a whole government agency being secretly under control sounds preposterous. But, is it so unbelievable amidst talk of a shadow government watching over our elected leaders? It’s potent stuff here and now, completely obvious yet also hidden in plain sight, a snapshot of our times but unspecific enough that the movie won’t become immediately dated.

But while at its heart the film’s a smart and compelling paranoid thriller, it’s also a Marvel movie, with all the hard-hitting action and humor that have made them so entertaining. Given, it also has all the flaws that come with that, like obvious plots holes, too-convenient plot resolutions, and a few eye-rolling lapses in logic. But the fact that it has intelligence, edge, and a sense of the times makes it so much better. Just when it looked like the modern superhero movie had started its decline, this makes it clear that at least Marvel may still have ideas left.

Then again, their next movie has a talking raccoon…

Requiem for the Expanded Universe

May it rest in peace...

After much speculation, Lucasfilm announced on Friday how the Star Wars Expanded Universe will come into play in upcoming films: in short, not very much. Though they left the door open to some elements possibly being integrated, they’re for the most part abandoning the decades of continuity established in the books and comics (though at least they expressed no intent to purge them out of existence, as George Lucas seems intent to do with the unaltered cuts of the Original Trilogy). Fan reaction has consisted of mostly disappointment, though not surprise. In my opinion, however, this might be for the best (I'll get to that later). But I must say, I have enjoyed several pieces of the EU over the years, so I do feel a bit of sadness knowing that it's being left behind. So here's a look back on the life of the Expanded Universe, both the major points and spotlight on a few of my personal favorites. Cue the nostalgic music from when Luke Skywalker stares into the twin sunset.

1970s and 80s: Beginnings

Marvel series

Beginning in 1977, the very first Star Wars comics were a desperate marketing ploy to drum up interest in a film everyone thought would fail, according to the DVD documentary Empire of Dreams (laughable, isn’t it?). When it instead became the biggest film ever, the comic book lasted ten years and over 100 issues. Among them were the official adaptations of the Original Trilogy, which were and still are quite good. The stories not based on the films, however, are of very dubious continuity, and often light and goofy. For example, Jabba the Hutt makes a handful of appearances as a dog-faced humanoid before his true form was revealed in Return of the Jedi. In another issue, Han Solo duels with an interstellar pirate in the vacuum of space…wearing little more than a snorkel. Comics were in their Bronze Age during most of this series’ run, but compared to other books at the time like Chris Claremont’s X-Men, these feel almost like Silver Age.

Splinter of the Mind’s Eye

The granddaddy of all Expanded Universe novels, penned by science fiction author and A New Hope novelization ghostwriter Alan Dean Foster. Supposedly the template for a smaller-scale sequel that was abandoned in favor of The Empire Strikes Back, it finds Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia stranded on a jungle planet and seeking out a force-sensitive amulet. They also come across Darth Vader, who’s still miffed about the Death Star’s destruction. All in all, this one’s pretty average. If Star Wars were a Flash Gordon-esque serial or a campy 70s sci-fi series, this would be a forgettable standalone episode. But in addition to being the very first supplemental novel, it’s also notable, and unintentionally funny, for the romantic tension between Luke and Leia. Hey, it was 1978! No one knew yet that they were siblings (Lucas says he knew all along, but I still wonder).

1990s: Official Continuity

The Thrawn Trilogy

For a while, there weren’t really any rules regarding Expanded Universe canon. Then in 1991, Lucasfilm established a more official EU continuity, beginning with Timothy Zahn’s novel Heir to the Empire. The book was the first of a trilogy catching up with the heroes of the films five years after Return of the Jedi, as the fledgling New Republic faces off against the remains of the Empire under the command of the blue-skinned Grand Admiral Thrawn. And it was good.

At the time, there was little established canon outside of the first three films, so Zahn had free reign to take the story in almost any direction (subject to Lucas’ approval, of course). He brought to the saga new characters, locales, and ideas, rather than just playing with someone else's creations. Many of the new faces he introduced went on to play roles in the EU as major as those of the film characters, especially the Solo twins Jacen and Jaina and former Imperial assassin Mara Jade. But far from just adding on more people, Zahn also expanded on the stories of the characters we knew and loved. For years when it looked like there would be no more than six films, these could have easily stood in for Episodes VII, VIII, and IX.

The Thrawn trilogy kicked off a new era for the EU. Works published in the 70s and 80s were only selectively accepted into the canon (best I can tell, Splinter of the Mind’s Eye was, the various comic series were not, and no one’s quite sure about the Han Solo and Lando Calrissian Adventures), but everything that came afterward was part of the official continuity.

Dark Empire

Around the same time as the Thrawn trilogy, Star Wars' comic license moved from Marvel to Dark Horse Comics (since parent company Disney also owns Marvel, they’re set to move back next year). The very first title at the new line was the miniseries Dark Empire, in which the dreaded Emperor Palpatine’s spirit returns in a clone body, and takes none other than Luke Skywalker as his new apprentice. The story clashes a bit with the events of the Thrawn trilogy, and while its sequel (the complete arc totaled three parts) remedies this well enough internally, the whole arc still seems like a rough fit within the official timeline. By itself, however, it’s a solid piece of work, despite some dark and gloomy artwork. It’s like a bridge between the old Marvel series and the new EU: it still has the older structure (the omniscient narration, the looser, out-there adventure plotting), but with a darker tone signifying the more serious works to come.

Tales of the Jedi

Think back to before the prequels came out, when all we knew about what happened prior to the Original Trilogy consisted of a few lines of dialogue hinting at a rich and mystical history. In 1994, this series gave us a taste of that era (albeit much, much further back, way before any character we saw onscreen). Set thousands of years in the past, these chronicles of the ancient Jedi and Sith are almost likes myths, with the Force bringing the characters to triumph and tragedy like the legendary heroes of Earth lore. This vibe is bolstered by the beautiful artwork, whose aesthetic evokes medieval knights or ancient Rome, and yet is still clearly Star Wars with spaceships and lightsabers. Sadly, the canonicity of these seems to have been rendered moot, or at least questionable, in the advent of the Knights of the Old Republic video games and comics (then again, the whole EU is apparently moot now). Still, these rank among the best of the comics, and recall a time when the events prior to the Original Trilogy seemed so full of possibility and wonder. Instead of, you know, racist frog aliens.

Video Game adaptations

Before the Knights of the Old Republic comics I just mentioned, several games that took you beyond the movies got their own books. The popular X-Wing flight simulators (left) spawned a nine-book series, depicting the struggle against the Empire from Rebel pilot Wedge Antilles' point of view. The shooter Dark Forces depicted events concurrent with the films, with the player assuming the role of Imperial turncoat (and later Jedi) Kyle Katarn. A trio of illustrated novellas from Dark Horse expanded on his story. And in reverse, the events of Dark Empire inspired a mission in Nintendo 64’s Rogue Squadron (a game I played for endless hours).

Another game I adored as a child was…

Shadows of the Empire

Some of the various Shadows merchandise

Probably the most famous EU project, or at least the one fans who don’t really go beyond the movies know about. The story, filling the gap between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, unfolds over several different mediums, offering a different perspective in each one. The novel by Steve Perry follows Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia’s attempt to rescue Han Solo from Boba Fett, as well as the green-skinned crime lord Prince Xizor and his plot to kill Luke. The comic (my pick for best of the bunch) follows Fett and Darth Vader's roles. In the N64 game, the player fights through the events (as well as the Battle of Hoth) as Dash Rendar, an obvious carbon copy of Han Solo (remember he was in carbonite at the time). These were all accompanied by a toy line, a soundtrack, basically everything that comes with a major movie…except, no movie. Looking back, it couldn’t be more obvious it was purely a marketing ploy (supposedly to test the merchandising waters for the coming prequels). And I fell for it completely. But I’m okay with that because it was my first foray into the EU, and led to me seeking out and reading many more comics and books.

The Han Solo Trilogy

The story of the Skywalker family was saved for the prequels, but the early life of the other protagonist (and let’s be honest, the one who made the movies) was told in three books by the late A.C. Crispin. The novels describe events in Han Solo's life everyone knows, like how his partnership with Chewbacca began and his run-ins with Lando Calrissian and Jabba the Hutt. But we also learn that there’s more to the Corellian smuggler than his cocky façade when he first appears in the Mos Eisley cantina. Specifically, his romance with a revolutionary who plays a great part in the fate of the Rebellion. Turns out ol’ Han had some heart and principle all along, and was much less the selfish character he tried to sell himself as when we first met him. The Thrawn trilogy are the strongest full entries in the EU storyline, but for character-specific works, these might be the best (though I'm biased because Han Solo's my favorite character).

Boba Fett

To me, Boba Fett’s never been quite the same since the rather disappointing revelation that he’s merely a clone of his “father” Jango (himself a chrome-plated carbon copy of Boba). But up until we found that out, Boba was one of the coolest secondary characters in the Star Wars universe (and still might be, actually). It wasn’t just all the cool toys at his disposal, but also the mystique of not knowing who he was, other than a total badass. Every kid who was a Star Wars fan had his action figure and wanted to be him on the playground at some point.

Still got mine!

There was a window in the EU’s existence when he was still that character, beginning with Dark Empire revealing he survived his fall into the Sarlacc Pit, and ending with his underwhelming origin in Attack of the Clones. During that length of time, works like K.W. Jeter’s Bounty Hunter Wars Trilogy and the Shadows of the Empire comic book recast Fett as an anti-hero (emphasis on the “anti,” he still wasn’t a good guy) battling rival bounty hunters and the other scum of the universe. The comic Enemy of the Empire even has him facing off with Darth Vader. Yes, there was a time when Boba Fett had enough clout that he could not only go toe-to-toe with Darth Vader, but take their fight to a stalemate. As for now...well, he'd still mop the floor with Hayden Christensen's Anakin, clone or not.

1999-2005: The prequel film era

The New Jedi Order

By the end of the 90s, the Expanded Universe had amassed over two decades of post-Return of the Jedi history. Much of it involved the Rebel Alliance/New Republic battling the ever-dwindling remnants of the Empire, or squelching uprisings on newly-liberated worlds, over and over again. The various published works were falling into a predictable formula where the main characters would always emerge unscathed. Most of the EU’s output was turning toward the prequel era with the release of The Phantom Menace. But while the new films got most of the attention, the Original Trilogy characters and their EU compatriots got a much needed jolt with The New Jedi Order.

The series introduced nightmarish new villains: the Yuuzahn Vong, a race from outside the galaxy who partake in a genocidal invasion. The Vong are self-mutilating zealots who view pain as a sacrament and see all technology as blasphemy. So all their ships and weapons are living beings. Oh, and they apparently exist outside of The Force (though The Force comes into play in surprising ways later in the series). If that weren't enough, the very first book Vector Prime made it clear how grim a turn this was by killing off a beloved character (SPOILER!). More would meet their end over the 19-book run, and this war for the galaxy would arguably be more destructive than the Clone Wars or the war against the Empire.

There's a line from Predator that's pretty apt here.

The New Jedi Order is a point of contention among fans, with some protesting it for being too dark and brutal, and straying too much from the spirit of Star Wars. I’m not one of them. Forget whatever next step in the conflict between the Jedi and the Sith J.J. Abrams gives us in Episode VII. Truly terrifying and evil enemies, massive battles in space and on planets against sentient weapons, Jedi-hunting genetic monsters, a real uncertainty about who lives and dies, and even those who live being pushed to their limits in strength as well as with the Force? That would be a kickass movie!

Prequel-era stories

While the prequels may not have been that great, the comics and books set in the same time period had some pretty good stuff. Before the Clone Wars cartoon series, the EU gave us a firsthand view of the war we only saw glimpses of in the films (it was a darker, more serious depiction than the cartoons, as well). It was here that Anakin Skywalker got some depth that the character desperately needed, as he struggles with his feelings amidst the trials of war. The various other Jedi were also revealed to be more than seat fillers on the Jedi Council and targets during Order 66. My favorite arc, and also apparently a fan favorite, was that of Quinlan Vos, a Jedi Master with tendencies toward the Dark Side. Because of his struggle to stay in the light, Vos is recruited by the Republic to be a double agent and infiltrate Count Dooku’s inner circle. But his mission becomes difficult when the Dark Side starts to overcome him. More than a compelling story of war and espionage, it introduced a rare element of moral ambiguity into a saga where good and evil (Light Side and Dark Side) are usually rigidly defined. 

Too bad we never got to see any of these stories onscreen…

2005-Present: Saturation

Admittedly, I’ve always been only a selective connoisseur of the Expanded Universe (which is why this is by no means a complete list, and several of your favorites may not have been mentioned). But this period, around the release of Revenge of the Sith, is when the EU lost me. Toward the end of The New Jedi Order, stories starring the Original Trilogy cast began integrating elements of the prequels. Which of course they would, because the prequels are just as much canon as the Originals, but like Hayden Christensen in Return of the Jedi, it still doesn't seem quite right. But beyond that, the EU started filling nearly every possible gap in the timeline between books with new stories, many of them inconsequential. Then after NJO, the saga reverted back to repetitive conflicts between the Light and Dark Sides and the Rebels and the Empire (or whatever name each side went by at this point in the continuity). The film characters were now in their geriatric years, and several longtime EU stalwarts were killed off disappointingly. The timeline became so crowded that some series jumped into the far future or even further into the past, with only tenuous links to the characters we’d been following for so long. It just became so convoluted, more difficult to keep track of than fun to read.

For this reason, it’s probably not a bad idea for the new movies to start fresh. If they were to stay true to the EU, they would have to deal with so many characters and plot points that it would severely limit their creative possibilities, and might end up with a story as tangled and predictable as the books and comics have become. Part of what made the EU great in the first place was that, at the start, there were so many possible stories and only the films as parameters. So, sad as it may be to kiss the universe we've followed for many years goodbye, a clean slate will allow the sequels more freedom to do new things with the saga.

And if they turn out to be as disappointing as the prequels, we can all pretend they didn’t happen, as we’ll still have decades’ worth of EU stories to fall back on.

Long live the Expanded Universe!

Noah

Monty Python had a sketch in which Renaissance painter Michelangelo stands before the Pope, who chastises the artist for his highly inaccurate painting of the Last Supper. As their exchange goes on, they reveal some hilariously looney creative liberties taken in the painting (which might explain why Leonardo da Vinci got the job). Similarly absurd artistic license is taken in Darren Aronofsky’s take on Noah’s Ark. But instead of aiming for a bit of goofy comedy, the writer-director appears to be completely serious. Which only makes the rock monsters that much more ridiculous.

I’ll repeat that: there are rock monsters in this movie. Seriously.

I’m not a religious person myself, but to me, films based on biblical stories seem to exist on their own level, less bound to regular critical analysis because they’re less about pure drama than their message (same reason you don’t judge the Bible like you would a novel). Even more radical and controversial interpretations of the scripture, like The Last Temptation of Christ, still feel like you’re watching more than just a piece of entertainment. Well, Noah chucks this sentiment overboard completely (by the director’s own admission, to be fair), and with it any sense of spirituality. The aforementioned Pythons' Life of Brian had a more biblical feel than this, and that was a comedy.

It’s still the basic story of Noah’s Ark, but the film fills it out to feature-length (and then some) by piling on all the worst elements of blockbuster reboots from the last decade or so. The rock monsters (they’re actually fallen angels, but no less ludicrous for that) are just one of many examples of a medieval fantasy aesthetic the movie’s going for, as if to cash in on the Game of Thrones/Hobbit zeitgeist we’re in currently. The landscape onscreen looks less like the Old Testament than the post-apocalyptic devastation of The Road Warrior, minus the cars. And Russell Crowe’s Noah is a brooding, burly badass who dispatches enemies in hand-to-hand combat as effortlessly as any action hero. It almost seems like an intentionally, gleefully sacrilegious B-movie that was lucky enough to get a massive budget. But Aronofsky's tongue isn’t in cheek; again, he's playing it seriously.

The controversy surrounding the picture was seemingly framed by the media as nitpicking from religious groups for not following the Bible to a T. After actually watching the film, their displeasure is much more understandable. Many of the creative liberties building up to the great flood go beyond merely creating drama to pure silliness. But the change I’d imagine they most objected to comes afterwards, when the protagonists are riding out the storm aboard the Ark. Let’s just say that obeying the Creator’s (the word “god" is never spoken) every command means doing some horrible things, and arguably turns Noah into a brutal psychopath. Whether or not he’s actually doing the work of the Creator is never clearly stated, but he decidedly comes off as more of a madman than a prophet. By comparison, the viewpoint of the villainous Tubal-cain (Ray Winstone), the leader of the evil men who get washed away, seems almost more moral and reasonable. It’s a very strong stance for the movie to take, offering a lot for the audience to think about. But it’s not a pleasant narrative, and, like the rest of the picture, it’s faulted by flat acting and dialogue. A lot of biblical films have stilted dialogue, but you could give them a pass because this usually stems from quoting Bible verses, which don't always translate onscreen. But after taking so much creative license already, surely this movie could have cooked up some better lines for its cast.

There are some other interesting ideas. For example, the spent, resource-exhausted scenery adds an undercurrent of environmental allegory. The evil of Tubal-cain and his followers only pulls enough punches for a PG-13 rating, but is more than sufficiently savage and cruel. The divine visions experienced by the title character are haunting and beautiful, conjuring images of not only the story of Genesis, but an unmade epic adaptation of Milton’s Paradise Lost. But alas, all these are only trappings that never grow into anything more. The movie is a mess of too many ideas, with as many or more bad than good. Aronofsky should have made a choice and either made a more serious respectable adaptation that nonetheless explored his ideas and opinions, or just gone all out with the blockbuster elements and given us a completely and utterly stupid biblical action travesty.

Actually, on second thought, I think we can live without the latter.