Schwarzenegger: An Action Retrospective

This past July, Arnold Schwarzenegger turned 65. The man has lived an interesting life, to say the least. There’s the old cliché of immigrants coming to America and making something of themselves, but how many have gone on to achieve the success he has had in bodybuilding, movie, or politics, let alone all three? He is the American Dream, pumped up to the highest level.

Though he first gained exposure as a bodybuilder, and served as Governor of California, his greatest legacy—to me and I’m sure to most people—was and is being an action hero. And now that his tenure as governor is over, he’s making an action movie comeback, starting this weekend with a major role in The Expendables 2. To celebrate his return to what made him an icon in the first place, here’s a look back at his career as an action star, from the highs to the lows.

Classics

The Terminator (1984) and Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Easily his most recognizable role, the old T-800 cyborg from the future is arguably still his best. Supposedly, O.J. Simpson was considered for the role. Thank God that didn’t come together, because for all the picture’s merits (a cool story, good action sequences for a low-budget film), it would not be the same without Arnold. While he’s often cast as a hero, he is arguably at his most compelling as the villain in this movie, stalking Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), who’s unborn son will lead mankind to victory in a war in the future, with machine-like efficiency, brutality, and lack of emotion. He’s so cool as the bad guy that you almost root for him instead.

Seven years later, director James Cameron gave us that opportunity, recasting him as the hero in the mega-budget sequel. This time, Arnold must protect a young John Connor (Edward Furlong) from the liquid-metal T-1000 (Robert Patrick, also a great villain). The action sequences are amazing, the humor provides enough relief without getting annoying, and the special effects are still impressive after over 20 years. Admittedly, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense how a Terminator would go from trying to kill humans to trying to save them, but I think we can all overlook that; it's worth the plot hole just to see Arnold's first scene.

The Running Man (1987)

A precursor to modern reality TV? Maybe not (yet), but the influence of this action/sci-fi gem can be seen in other things (I’m looking at you, Hunger Games!). Adapted from one of Stephen King’s Richard Bachman works, it has military prisoner Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) placed on The Running Man, a twisted game show in a totalitarian future. The object of the game is simple: defeat the show’s assassins, and win your freedom (easier said than done). Along with terrific fights and chases and colorful villains, there are some subtle societal themes about the nature of violence as mass entertainment. And while Arnold’s wit is on display, Richard Dawson (the real host of Family Feud) steals the show as the game’s psychotic host.

Total Recall (1990)

This gem directed by Paul Verhoeven is weird, outrageous, gory, and over-the-top. And brilliant. Arnold plays a lowly construction worker in the future who decides to take a virtual vacation as a spy on Mars…only to discover that he really is a spy with an implanted memory. Or is it all a dream? It never makes it clear, and offers clues supporting both conclusions. A full 20 years before Christopher Nolan’s Inception (which I liked, but felt was a tad overrated), this was an even more mind-blowing thriller about the nature of reality versus dreams. It's also oddly hilarious, with so many wacky scenes and (sometimes gross) special effects that only someone with an eccentric eye like Verhoeven could bring to a movie and make it work.

 

 

The Good

Commando (1985)

Full of ridiculously over-the-top action and corny one-liners, the movie at times plays like a parody of 80s action movies. But no, it’s a real film, in which retired commando John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) is forced back into action after his former allies and a deposed dictator capture his daughter (a young Alyssa Milano). This one showed audiences that Arnold didn’t just look the part of an action hero, he could be funny, too. If it weren’t for Commando, he might not have gotten comedic roles like Twins or Kindergarten Cop (which aren’t listed here because they fall under comedy instead of action).

Predator (1987)

Instead of just piling on the gunfights and explosions, this one takes its time to build up the suspense. Like Ridley Scott’s Alien or Steven Spielberg’s Jaws, the title creature is kept out of sight (literally invisible) for much of the movie, until a cool reveal late in the film. It works, but in addition to the horror/thriller elements, this one has all the gunplay and fights we expect from a Schwarzenegger vehicle, as well as some great lines from Arnold ("Get to the chopper!" has become something of a meme.) and Jesse Ventura, a cult icon in his own rite. I’ll also take this opportunity to praise the often hated sequel, which, despite lacking Arnold, is a very worthy follow-up.

Red Heat (1988)

This one taps into the buddy cop zeitgeist popular at the time, with a Cold War angle (yeah, it’s pretty dated). Arnold plays Soviet policeman Ivan Danko, who travels to Chicago to escort a Georgian drug dealer back to the USSR. But when the extradition is botched, he teams up with Chicago cop Jim Belushi to find his man, and the film follows all the tropes of the genre predictably (no surprise because director Walter Hill essentially created the buddy cop picture). The chemistry between the two leads never completely clicks, as Belushi seems like just a nuisance instead of a funny sidekick. Still, enough cool gunfights make this one worth a watch.

True Lies (1994)

An action comedy, with a bigger helping of comedy. Arnold plays a spy who is intent on not only saving the world, but also his marriage to Jamie Lee Curtis, who believes he is your regular suburban dad. There is a long break in the action in the middle as Arnold tries to stop his bored wife from cheating with a loser con man who ironically is posing as a spy (Bill Paxton, great as a pants-peeing wimp), and while it may slow the film down a bit, it’s quite funny. Same goes for the action scenes at the beginning and end, which blur the line between action movie and cartoon. Also, it has Moses in an eye patch.

Let my people go, or ye shall walk the plank!

Eraser (1996)

If you were to make a movie that showcases everything we love about Arnold, this—probably his last great action role—would be it.  He plays a government agent (Ever notice how no one seems to question why the all red-blooded American archetypes he's played have a thick Austrian accent?) assigned to protect Vanessa Williams, a whistleblower from a high-tech weapons manufacturer.  Lots of zany action scenes (and yes, Arnold gets to use the high-tech weaponry) punctuated by comic relief from Arnold, James Caan as the corporate scumbag villain, and Robert Pastorelli as a dim-witted wiseguy in witness protection make this one a lot of fun.

The Bad 

The 6th Day (2000)

Easily Arnold’s worst movie. This futuristic thriller about cloning (Arnold literally teams up with himself) seems more interested in showing off the future technology than telling a good story. Problem is none of it looks very cool, just like early 2000s technology with a few more TV screens and some mediocre special effects (not to mention the hilarious, instantly-dated inclusion of an XFL game in the future). In addition, the action sequences and production values are subpar, the villains never seem threatening, and the faux-philosophical themes about cloning and humanity are sophomoric at best. I’d rather watch the one with Arnold’s Clone Baby.

Collateral Damage (2002)

This is notable as one of the movies delayed in the aftermath of 9/11, as its plot involves terrorist bombings in Los Angeles and Washington D.C. The story has Arnold traveling to Colombia to avenge the death of his family in one such bombing. The film isn’t really badly made, but it’s very joyless and devoid of the humor that make his other films so much fun. Considering the events of the time, though, that’s understandable; when terrorism is real, it’s hard to take lightly even in just a movie (such was apparently the reason a sequel to True Lies was scrapped).

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

To be fair, Arnold does his best to lighten things up in his final appearance in the franchise by playing it pretty deadpan. There are also some great action scenes, and Kristanna Loken is effective as the villainous T-X. Sadly, the whole movie seems like a mere retread of T2, only with a whinier, more depressing John Connor in Nick Stahl. And the fatalistic ending makes the whole film seem like a pointless exercise, just a primer to set up more sequels. Better to just forget everything after T2 ever happened.

Bad...but Good

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Arnold barely speaks as the pulp fantasy hero, but he IS Conan, brooding in every scene, hacking through bad guys, and bedding several beautiful women. And that’s basically the whole movie (there is some plot to speak of, but it quickly gets too convoluted to follow). This is one of those trashy B-fantasy films that they don’t make anymore (which may or may not be a good thing). It can’t compete with modern fantasy epics like Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings, but it can still pass the time, though its two-hour length is pushing it.

Last Action Hero (1993)

Young moviegoer Austin O’Brien is given a magic ticket and gets transported into the latest movie featuring supercop Jack Slater (Schwarzenegger, playing a character in a movie within a movie). It’s a clever premise, with some funny pop culture references and interesting ideas about how characters in an action flick must live their life in the fictional world of the movies. But when Slater and his nemesis escape into the real world, things get pretty ridiculous (culminating in the real world Arnold coming face-to-face with the character he plays). It’s also too bad that the film went for a cutesier, family-friendly PG-13; an R-rated action tribute/satire could have been so much funnier. It does have its moments, though.

Batman and Robin (1997)

This is the infamous film that killed the Batman franchise until Christopher Nolan revived it, and yes, it is as bad as its reputation. Forget staying true to the comics; there are so many random, illogical, and just plain dumb sequences and plot holes that it barely works as just a movie in and of itself. Everyone onscreen seems to know that they’re in little more than a long toy commercial, but while most of the cast just seems to be going through the motions (George Clooney looks like he’s waiting for his check so he can get back to ER), Arnold at least tries to have fun with his role as Mr. Freeze, hamming it up and dropping the one-liners. For anyone who’s still watching after 20 minutes, the picture is high comedy.

End of Days (1999)

Playing off the fears of Y2K, this horror/action fest has Arnold as a burnt out cop taking on the Devil himself, who has taken over the body of a Wall Street trader (Gabriel Byrne) in hopes of fathering the Antichrist before the turn of the millennium. It’s every bit as awful and ridiculous as it sounds  And yet, it is entirely watchable, if only for the goofy bad action movie tone that (rather humorously) undermines such dark subject matter (plus, Breaking Bad fans can spot Tio Salamanca as the Pope). Arnold’s scene with Satan—where he berates the Prince of Darkness as “a choir boy”—was alone worth the price of a ticket in the pre-YouTube era.

 

Welcome back, Arnold!